


Hate To Love You

by kittylullu123



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Hate to Love, Homophobic Language, M/M, No Smut, Peterick if you squint - Freeform, another one, kinda Angst with a happy ending, really - Freeform, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:05:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7147871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittylullu123/pseuds/kittylullu123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan's life is far from perfect</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate To Love You

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I'm a slut for high school AUs so here's another one. I'm also a slut for panic so there ya go. Hope you like it and sorry about the slightly shitty ending. This is basically how i vent out all of my frustration from the 24 exams I'm working through rn so yeah. Constructive criticism is welcome. (Also yes it is 2016 and I am writing Ryden)

Ryan’s life was far from perfect.

That was the only thought running through his head as he walked home. Some stupid jock kid had called him ‘golden boy’ (because apparently that was an insult now) and suggested that Ryan should be beaten up because he needed to know that ‘the world is not perfect like your life’.  
But Ryan’s life was far from perfect. And, to be honest, he wasn’t sure why people thought it was so perfect. Sure he lived in a big house and his parents earnt a lot of money, but that meant they were never around, and sometimes, when he was alone, Ryan felt like his house was too big. The only reason he hadn’t taken in some orphans of the street yet was because he didn’t want them to be dragged into the mess that was his life.  
Ryan laughed at himself. If Mikey were here he would tell him to stop being so goddamn angsty before he turned into a walking cliché. That was mainly the problem actually, none of Ryan’s friends were here because Mikey’s band was on ‘tour’ (which basically just meant that Mikey’s older brother was on break from college so he could drive them around the state in an old van), Pete and Patrick lived on the other side of town and Spencer was sick- which meant that Ryan had to walk home from another crappy day at school all alone. 

As far as Ryan could see his day was only getting worse because as he approached his front door, he could see that his new neighbours were moving in and he really didn’t want to meet them but knew that, as she was at home for about two days, his mother would insist on doing something stupid, like inviting them to dinner. He really hoped they didn’t have a daughter around his age because that might mean that his mother did something even more stupid like trying to set them up even though Ryan had told her an infinite amount of times that he was one hundred percent gay. He thought it said something about his mother’s parenting skills when she couldn’t even remember basic facts about him like his sexuality.  
As he sat down at his desk and pulled out the large stack of homework he had to do, Ryan looked longingly at his guitar and thought about how his day couldn’t get any worse.  
It turned out he was wrong.

This became apparent when Ryan ran downstairs to get the door and found literally the last person he was expecting to find standing on his porch-standing on his porch.  
“Hey, we just moved in next door and my mum told me to bring these over” Brendon Urie spoke and held out a plate of what looked suspiciously like shop bought cookies.  
Ryan didn’t say anything because Brendon Urie was standing on his porch and- Oh God- Brendon Urie was his new neighbour. Brendon Urie, popular boy, Brendon Urie the only not heterosexual boy on the football team, Brendon Urie who’s angelic face and voice and, well everything, had awakened Ryan to the fact that he may not be straight. (Although that was just a stupid freshman crush, which had definitely, totally, 100% gone away within the last two years.)  
“So, uh, where should I put these then?” Brendon said, awakening Ryan from his reverie and, quite rudely, pushing past Ryan and into his house.  
“Oh- um- just put them in the kitchen. No actually just give them to me, I’m sure you have like unpacking and stuff to do, so I’ll take them and- yeah.” Ryan said, silently cursing his mouth for not being able to correctly form sentences.  
“No I don’t actually.” Ryan looked up from the floor, where he had fixated his gaze, confused.  
“Huh?”  
“I don’t have any unpacking to do. I’ve already done it all. Besides, I actually have a favour to ask.” Brendon said, far more confidently than anything Ryan had said so far. That didn’t stop Ryan from scoffing at his statement though.  
“I’m sorry? You- Brendon Urie want to ask a favour from me? Someone who you’ve never talked to and who you probably don’t even the name of.” Ryan sounded rather indignant and for a second he felt bad but then he remembered that he was talking to Brendon Urie and he probably needed taking down a peg anyway.  
“Ryan. Your name is Ryan Ross. And Yes, I do need a favour from you. I need you to help with my English homework.” And, despite being taken aback that Brendon actually knew his name (or at least, as much of his name as most people knew) Ryan was not happy with his response.  
“Nope. No way. You think that just because you live next to the ‘nerdy’ kid you get your homework done for free now? Not happening.” He said firmly, grabbing Brendon’s arm and moving him towards the door. But Brendon put a hand out, preventing him from slamming said door in his face.  
“No, no, I really need your help. You’re way better at English than me and I really don’t get it.”  
“Brendon, You’re in AP English. You’re not bad at English.” Ryan looked at him sceptically.  
“Ok- you got me. I’m not bad at English. I’m just bad at reading.”  
“What?” Ryan was confused now. Brendon Urie wanted him to teach him how to read better?  
“I just- Look will you help me or not?” Brendon seemed to be giving up now and it was weird for Ryan to see him like this. The Brendon he was used to was always cracking jokes or singing some random Sinatra song to all his friends. He did not seem like the type to stand on Ryan’s porch, looking at him with puppy eyes and begging him to help him read. But Ryan knew not to judge people by their covers- or whatever the phrase was. Ryan wasn’t sure and frankly he didn’t really care because Brendon freaking Urie was standing on his doorstep looking rejected and Ryan wasn’t a horrible person so he let him in.

It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that Ryan realised that Brendon had not been kidding when he said he was struggling with English. They’d started off by just discussing the books they were studying and talking about the main themes and which points to include in exams and essays etc. and to be honest Ryan was finding it hard to believe that this wasn’t all a poorly executed plan to make fun of the nerdy kid. Because Brendon clearly knew what he was talking about and Ryan could see why he belonged in AP English. But then Brendon handed over his essay and Ryan began to think something must be really going on in Brendon’s brain because, despite the points being there, the spelling and grammar was terrible. Honest to God terrible. 

“Brendon, what the hell?” Ryan exclaimed, unable to help himself, his carefully put together manner falling away with shock.  
“Is it that bad?” Brendon looked sheepish and Ryan was suddenly aware of how differently he acted when he wasn’t in his usual environment of cool popular jocks and girls who fawned over his every move.  
“I mean, it’s not bad in substance. It’s just- well it looks like an elementary school kid proofread it.” Ryan said, not softening the blow of his statement at all with the memory of how none of Brendon’s stupid friends had ever felt bad for him.  
“Yeah well, like I said, I kind of struggle with reading. That makes it quite hard to proofread work you know. Which is why I needed your help in the first place.” Brendon replied defensively.

A thought suddenly struck Ryan and he felt kind of bad for a second.  
“Brendon you aren’t- are you dyslexic? Because if you are its really not something to worry about.”  
“No. I’m not dyslexic. I just- can’t see very well. I mean I can see most things well, just not like things up close- you know?”  
“Have you ever considered just getting glasses then?” Ryan was confused about why this seemed like some giant secret which Brendon had to hide from him.  
“Well yeah, I’ve considered it, But- I don’t know- glasses are kind of, well, I mean- they’re” Brendon trailed off but Ryan knew what he was trying to say.  
“They’re nerdy. God are you really so shallow that you would sacrifice your eyesight just so your stupid friends don’t make fun of you because of some stupid stereotype.” Ryan was angry and his tone certainly showed it. He couldn’t believe that he’d been starting to think that Brendon might actually be a genuinely nice guy.  
“Hey! They’re not stupid!” Brendon tried to argue back, rather feebly.  
“Brendon, they literally beat me up every day because I happen to like guys and someone told them that was gross once.”  
“No they don’t.”  
“What?” Ryan did not understand what Brendon was saying.  
“Well, they know I’m Bi- and they don’t care about that so they can’t be beating you up for your sexuality. They must have another reason-you must have done something to them.” Brendon looked confused and Ryan wondered if he was trying to convince him or himself.  
“Like what Brendon? Had sex with one of their Girlfriends?” Ryan felt a weird kind of pleasure at watching Brendon’s face contort as he tried to think of a counter-argument. “Or maybe they’re just homophobic and don’t want to believe you’re actually bi- they probably think you’re just experimenting or some shit.”  
“No, no they don’t. Of course they don’t. God you’re such an idiot Ross.” Brendon seemed to have finally snapped and that led Ryan to breaking point as well.  
“Oh Yeah?! Well if I’m such an idiot then how about you get out of my house and take your stupid essay with you!” Ryan shouted practically throwing the sheets of paper at him.  
It wasn’t until Brendon angrily slammed himself down on his own bed that he realised that Ryan had completely corrected all of the mistakes. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brendon felt bad. He had gone to sleep feeling bad and he had woken up feeling bad and now he was driving to school feeling bad. Ryan was nice. He was kind and clever and cute. He was definitely cute. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that Ryan was nice and he had helped Brendon loads and all Brendon had done was prove that he was exactly the dickhead that Ryan had expected him to be. 

He couldn’t help it though. Ryan was being mean about his friends and Brendon had to stick up for them. After all, they were his friends and they hadn’t left him after he had come out and he’d known some of them for years. He’d only known Ryan for a couple of hours.  
Still, Brendon felt like he needed to make it up to Ryan. Ryan had helped him after all. But what could he do? He couldn’t ask him to sit with him at lunch because Ryan and Brendon’s friends didn’t exactly get along. And he couldn’t buy Ryan a gift to make it up to him because Brendon didn’t know what he’d want. Maybe he could just talk to Ryan and apologise. That sounded like a good idea, because then he wouldn’t make Ryan uncomfortable and he might still have a chance with him. As a tutor obviously- Brendon didn’t see Ryan as anything more than a tutor. A really nice, hot, available tutor who Brendon might have a huge crush on. But mainly just a tutor.  
Ryan’s friends didn’t believe him at first.

“Brendon Urie showed up on your doorstep and begged for help because he refuses to wear glasses? I know you’re good at creative writing Ry but I think this story is a bit too far-fetched even for me.” Were Spencer’s exact words actually, and Pete and Patrick weren’t much help either.  
At least Mikey believed him. Or so he thought, until he looked at his phone to discover that Gerard had sent that text because Mikey was ‘too busy shoving his tongue down Ray’s throat in a disgusting and unnecessary display of affection’ as Gerard put it. Ryan knew from Mikey’s stories that Gerard and Frank weren’t much better. In fact, they might actually be worse. 

But by lunch Ryan had almost convinced them that it had actually happened and that it wasn’t just a dream. Pete still insisted that he needed proof before he fully believed Ryan which meant that Ryan had wasted most of his second and third periods desperately trying to think of some kind of proof that Brendon had been there, so far all he had were the cookies Brendon had brought with him, but there was no way of telling that they came from Brendon, so that didn’t really work.  
As luck would have it, proof came in the form of an unexpected wave and smile from one Brendon Urie, who turned around from his table of ‘cool’ jocks and cheerleaders specifically to perform said wave and smile, and then turned back around whilst blushing adorably. That didn’t mean Ryan wasn’t still mad at him, just that even when he was mad, Brendon’s blushing was still cute. 

“Um Brendon?” His friend, Lily, asked, looking at him strangely, “Why did you just wave at that freaky boy over there?” Her voice dragged and her nose was upturned and Brendon didn’t really like the way she referred to Ryan. But Lily had been one of his friends since freshman year so he kept his cool. At least until Jack, one of his friends from the team spoke up as well.  
“Who, that little fag? I’m sure Brendon was just messing with him, letting him know about the beating he’ll be getting later.” There were murmurs of assent from around the table and Lily and some of the other cheerleaders even laughed.  
“Why are you gonna give him a beating? Just because he’s gay. I’m gay too you know.” Brendon could feel the anger rising up inside him but he didn’t want to let it out. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding.  
“Well, you’re not really gay are you?” Lily looked at him, smile still playing on her lips.  
“What do you mean by that?” Brendon was shocked.  
“You said you’re bisexual, which basically just means you’re confused. If you were gay, then you would have a boyfriend by now. You’d probably not be on the football team either, I mean, it would be so hard to play when you’re attracted to all the players. I know I couldn’t do it.” She finished off with a wink and that was when Brendon realised that Ryan had been right. These people- his friends- didn’t even believe that Brendon was bisexual. They didn’t support him and they beat up Ryan just because he was gay and they didn’t like that. 

Brendon got up from his seat and walked towards Ryan’s table and Ryan’s heart sank. For a second, for just a moment in time he had thought that maybe Brendon really was different, but now here he was coming to beat Ryan up.  
That’s not exactly the way it turned out though.  
The way it turned out was that Brendon came over and did the last thing Ryan was expecting. He kissed him. And then he asked him out. And then Ryan did the last thing he was expecting- by saying yes. And then he kissed him again. And if they ditched the rest of the day to make out in Brendon’s car then no one had to know. And half of Ryan’s friends lost $20 that day because they had not bet on Ryan and Brendon getting together, then no one had to know that either.  
Ryan’s life was far from perfect.  
But every little thing he did with his BOYFRIEND (going shopping for band shirts and getting new glasses and making mixtapes and kissing under the mistletoe at Christmas etc. etc) made his life a little more perfect than before.


End file.
